Matchday, 2nd Leg

By: Sam | April 8th, 2008

Colin Kazim-Richards Tonight we have Chelsea FC v Fenerbahçe SK — who can tell us what ‘SK’ stands for? — at Stamford Bridge in Southwest London and Liverpool FC v Arsenal FC up a few latitudinous clicks at Anfield.

(The insouciant East-Londoner, Fenerbahçe striker Colin Kazim-Richards, returns home from Turkey, ready to impress friends & family. Zico will tell him: “Enjoy your football, tonight!”)

JT in training Prognostications of a calm Chelsea 2-nil victory at home also indicate the opposite probability, which is further complicated by Petr Čech’s 50 — count-’em — Fifty! … FIVE-NOWT … stitches to the face. Apparently the snow at the training ground was covered with gore, and this disturbance will have significance.

We like Carlo Cudicini, very much, in fact. His loyalty, his quality, his steady role-play as No.2 stopper, his alliterative Italian name. But the unlucky Čech is a sliver better in a pinch. That is, when he is not offering his head as an onion-bag.

The worrisome trend among predictions is that everybody agrees this northern fixture at Anfield will be a negating 1-1 draw. In a Bull Market when everybody agrees price can only go up, that means there are no more buyers left and only sellers. Therefore, Liverpool will come out guns blazing and not stop scoring until Arsenal do at the final peep-peep. Prediction consensus therefor indicates a 6-6 score with Liverpool deciding based on Hleb’s penalty miss.

Regarding Petr Čech, fifty stitches is a lot for a face, jaw and lip. I know because the father-in-law was a maxillofacial surgeon. This is the kind of injury you get coming in on a stretcher off the M1 — or the New Jersey Turnpike, depending — and it is why I have moved vociferously to Ban the Blade!

The Copa Mundial boot by Adidas We must get Sepp Blatter — or someone sane in power, Beckenbauer perhaps — to legislate the Adidas Copa Mundial for everyone! This was my own favorite boot for the harder corn-field patches of the Upstate New York Div. III Inter-Collegiate Athletic Conference in the 1980’s — even though my wide foot was generally too much (ladies!?) for the Teutonic Adidas ideal and fit the Puma better.

These new-fangled blade boots are a sin. Arguably Eduardo’s left foot might still be attached to his leg if both his and Taylor’s boots were not designed for maximum stickiness.

Nevertheless Čech’s absence this evening poses one more sliver of a difference for Fenerbahçe’s Aurelio, Alex or Deivid to feed Kazim or Kezman productively.

Two mighty interesting matches then this evening, packing potential for exciting, open, desperate play featuring one team away with nothing to lose and another pair who know each other so well there are bound to be surprises in adjustment. I don’t know about you, but I’ll be rapt reading the minute-by-minute at The Guardian.

Anyone have any suggestions for the best place to listen to the audio of the call of the matches?