What’s in the Tetley’s?

By: Sam | March 17th, 2008

First, my thanks to Daryl, Rob & Adam for their hearty “Hiyee … Hello … and … Welcome!” as I make this, my first, post … coming in during mid-festivities with the punch bowl dwindling and the A-Team full on song.

Question is, WTF are they drinking in England that gets the Big Four a crack at the big dance at the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, on Wedneday 21 May? Is there’s something in the tea (or beer, as the case may be, if you’re from Yawk-sheel)?

If Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, M United possess one or two qualities it’s their ability to a) keep a disciplined shape; b) cause pain in varied ways; c) take their chances; and d) take their half-chances (Torres … Mascherano, anyone?).

These very English must-have danger-qualities have been sharpened by the sheer competitiveness of the Premiership — where day-in, day-out the insouciant, even laconic, Italian approach couldn’t possibly hold (see wikipedia: Derby County).

Case in point is the Arsenal’s recent string of no-win league results where they did not play too badly against pumped up opponents (fighting relegation or seeking a certain trophy). And M United just spanked the Arse 4-nil in the FA Cup. Chelsea were not that bad either in their FA Cup loss away to Barnsley — who wanted it more & would have given life & limb (get well soon, Eduardo) to match their very own giant-killing ways just weeks before at Anfield. In England on any given Tuesday, the footballing is hard.

I forgot to mention arrogance. Now there’s a quality. Arrogance is the main key to collecting silverware. Wenger likes his team arrogant and he sets a fair example that way. It’s about self-belief and a reflection of the expectation to win. It’s why Ferguson goes ballistic on the refs every so often: he is simply unaccustomed to having calls — or no-calls — down the Stretford End going the other way. Sir Alex is where he is because he expects to win.

This affects the footballing. On the pitch with M. United you have this terrorist named C Ronaldo (that’s terrorist in the good sense), who is so on-game, so eager to please, and pushes so hard that he mopes when he scores only one in three chances (the other two vibrate the woodwork). It helps to have defenses preoccupied by The Almost as Dangerous C Tevez and The Everso Dangerous W Rooney. All tolled, playing M United these days can feel like red hailstorm. And they never lose heart: even when they are an absolute emotional wreck there’s always a searching ball from the Deft & Dangerous Ginger Prince to make a defense feel not only incompetent but invisible, or the belief they can pull one (or four or five) back in injury time.

Arrogance: You can hardly say this about the demur, timid manager of Chelsea — who’s name is escaping me in one of my senior moments — although the players have the arrogance in spades. Avram Grant, that’s it. Sorry, Avram. Chelsea are on their way to Moscow because they simply keep house with the best and most compact shape and are so efficient on the ball and have speed and spread it wide and can out-number you suddenly and just when you’ve packed the box & double-teamed S Kalou & J Cole, Frank L or M Essien crack a knuckling fader that skims off the inside of the post. That’s Chelsea’s secret: smooth, fast two-touch ball movement & multivariate domination; not to forget their nice crisp new shade of blue. (Wouldn’t you say it’s a bit blue-gray? “… African, or European?”)

L’pool’s obvious note is the telepathy going on between Gerrard & Torres. My own view is that this is unmistakably crucial to Liverpools new assertiveness but it owes some of its development to Babel, who has been effective enough on the left to siphon attention away from the blond Spaniard who is faster than he looks, quite large and pinging the confidence-meter. And Alonso & Mascherano are doing more than meets the eye to clog the middle. I’m glad Sami Hyypia — the lugubrious but stolid Fin — is back (an opinion not widely shared).

Arsenal: smooth flowing & hungry. Did you see them against AC Milan? Milan are such mature, beautiful footballing stallions, if aging; Milan didn’t play badly at the San Siro except they are in a bit of a quandry when Kaka has a knock and lacks his usual (gr)(p)ace. Arsenal’s youthful side were un-cowed by the Milan competence. The difference was mainly Arsenal’s desire to finish.

Oh, and did I say M United are dangerous?

There may be other reasons for English dominance in this Round of 8. Is it a delayed Mourinho-Effect? The Special One has made Ferguson & Wenger raise their game as well as their senses of humour. Is it the improving quality from having unlimited access to the best talent? What’s your view?

My prediction: The Turks are a mad footballing people. That’s why I think Chelsea, going away to Sükrü Saraçoglu, Istanbul, on 2 April have the toughest draw and may be the English team whose hopes fade soonest.

See Rob’s excellent Round-of-8 comprehensive for details.